When I ask clients, and members of my The Empath's Journey Facebook group, about their biggest, wildest dream, it's not uncommon for them to feel stumped.
Creating space for day-dreaming, and imagining, hasn't exactly been a core value in our produce and consume culture. In addition, Empaths—those who can feel others' emotions as if they are their own—have learned to become highly attuned to others' needs (to minimize the risk of feeling others' dense emotions within their own body!). Their gift of attunement and desire to be of service to others is important; however, they often come at the expense of tuning into their own needs, and what their heart has been yearning for.
That said, dreaming is a key phase in the Change Cycle that Martha Beck lays out in her book, Finding Your North Star. When you skip this phase, you risk putting in a lot of effort into experiences that are not aligned with your authentic desires. It can leave you thinking, "I've done all of the 'right' things, why am I still not feeling fulfilled, joyful, etc?"
What is your biggest, wildest dream? Does it feel triggering to even ask the question?
What if sharing your vision and creating an invitation for others to join you brought in your ideal clients/friends/partners?
People ultimately want to feel connection, fulfillment and joy, but these feelings are experienced within the body, and there's a part of them that keeps them externally focused and on alert to potential risk.
This protective part can keep you engaged in activities such as worrying, anticipating, planning, pleasing, problem-solving, and keeping busy. It's only doing this to keep you focused on meeting others' approval (externally focused) so that you won't get hurt, but this can create a conflict between the protection and what the heart (internally focused) is really yearning for.
Given this conflict, can you really be safe (focusing on others' needs and desires at the expense of your own)?
When meeting others' needs when your own have not been met, there's a risk of taking on the role of rescuer. While you may have the best of intentions, rescuing activities can prevent others from feeling the dense emotions that are in their field—feelings that they need to feel in order to tune into their own inner wisdom and make empowered decisions. As a result, rescuers can take power away from those they feel need rescuing (especially when done without permission)—effectively entering the war of taking, and giving up, power from/to others.
This role is not sustainable and can lead to exhaustion and health issues, moving you into the role of victim. This role comes with more armor (protective parts) that covers the heart, and when the heart is covered, it's difficult to tune into your inner guidance system. As a result, there is a tendency to give your power away to those seen as more important, even those people who are operating in the role of perpetrator.
When it comes time to transition out of the frequency of powerless (common to the victim role), rage (as needs and desires went unmet) tends to be expressed. Whether it's directed externally, or internally, sending it to others/self moves you into the role of perpetrator. There is actually such a thing as psychic darts.
As you can see, when you're in the war—externally focused in rescuer, victim, or perpetrator roles*—it's difficult to rise up to the higher frequency of your truth, where you can see the possibilities that exist to create the life you want to live.
So how can you get out of this conflict and dream a new dream?
To reveal your dreams, you'll need to get out of the war by releasing the layers of protective parts that are no longer serving you. In many cases, these parts are misinformed—acting as if the danger you once experienced is still present.
In order for these protective patterns to relax, you'll need to create spaces that cue safety to your brain (e.g. beauty, pleasant sounds), and connect with people who have capacity to hold space for you (Releasing the dense energy of protective patterns and the emotions that they've been repressing is not typically comfortable, but the right support can make all of the difference).
With these conditions in place, you can reconnect with the power that you hold (vs. taking/giving away) to not only ask yourself what you need and desire, but to receive inspiration and express yourself with confidence. From this state of connection, you're also positioned to discern what is yours to know and do given the circumstances in front of you.
What if you could invite your clients to join in on your vision?
If you're in the midst of a career transition, or looking to make some shifts in your heart-centered business, check-in to see how you are feeling. Are you overwhelmed, or exhausted? If so, there's a chance that parts of you are not aligned with what your heart's really yearning for—making it difficult for your clients to find you.
One of the ways to create some alignment is to get clear on your vision and your role in it. When you can access the frequency of your truth, it can give you the momentum you need to extend an authentic invitation to others who share your vision.
Join me on March 7th at 7-8:30pm MST on Zoom for a free webinar designed to capture your wildest dream so that your ideal clients/friends/partners will be excited to join you. By the end of the event, you'll have a vision and mission statement as well as a draft invitation (whether you intend to create an actual event, or make it an energetic one) that includes a brief bio to give participants an idea of what it would be like to connect with you.
Click on the button below to register and save your spot!
Feel free to share if you know of someone who would benefit as well.