From Exhaustion & Attachment to Ease & Connection

I've met children and adults who are just so funny.  They have the gift of bringing laughter to a room - breaking up any serious, dense energy that's been there for a while.  They can offer relief from all that is going on - relief from the chaos above the calm. 

But sometimes the gift of being funny (or performing, or pleasing, or fixing, or soothing...) can be a way of making everything "right."  The result? Your gift, if applied in the context of making everything "right," means you're not able to relax, and that's exhausting. 

So why not stop trying to make everything "right?"

What if you let the chaos play out?  It might be nice to just sit back and watch from the sidelines. 

But then some may judge you for not "doing" anything.

Little do they know that they're only seeing what they want to see.  They are not seeing - with all of their senses - the answer to, "How are you doing?" They are not feeling, with their whole heart, what you are feeling and all that you're taking in.  Perhaps because they are not asking, "How are you feeling?"

As an empath, it's not really possible to be on the sidelines.  Even if you are not "doing" anything, you are feeling - and often taking it all in (overwhelming!). If you let go of making everything "right," and you do something "wrong," what will others do? Will they leave you? Will the emotions flying around hurt you? 

This is the fear of the child:  What if, in the midst of chaos, there is no where to go, and no way to say, or do, anything to change your circumstances?  What if the caregivers ignore, or neglect, and your needs go unmet?

If you were a child, what would you do to maintain a "connection" to the caregivers who have the power to make sure your needs are met? Would you make jokes, perform a play, keep quiet with a book, or take care of the younger siblings?

Even when you know that your own caregivers did the best they could, the fear of losing this attachment with "those in power" (and/or who you give your power to) can arise as an adult - particularly when you start to chart a new course, set boundaries, and stand in your own power to follow your heart into the unknown. 

So what do you need to care for yourself when the world out there is going so “wrong,” and you notice that you’re trying to make everything "right?"

The solution to this quagmire has to do with gaining traction around all of the steps you are taking - moving forward - into a state of connection, even in the midst of chaos. 

You’ll likely want to take very small steps - depending upon how exhausted you are: 

• If the only thing you can do is make your bed, or make a sandwich, you have just created a space for beauty and nourishment.  Celebrate that!
• If all you do is reach out to a friend, or a coach, to seek some support, acknowledge that too.  You’ve made it possible to hold a space for connection to take place.
• With your needs met, and from this state of connection, if all that you do is witness the individuals (extensions of you) engaged in the drama, know that you are creating change.  When you are witnessing, you remain unattached (to the outcome) - allowing your nervous system to relax so that more of your healing presence can come through.  From this state of relaxation, it feels safe to be in proximity with others and connect - especially the ones who are also witnessing from their own space, taking care of themselves in the midst of the chaos.

When you take small steps to create and hold a space for yourself, it feels safe to move from attachment to connection, and in that state of connection, your compassion and light can flow through you - out into the field beyond you, that is you. 

Thank you for your service!

P.S.  Would you like more information on how you can experience relief from overwhelm and exhaustion by making the shift from attachment to connection? Schedule a free Freedom to Flow discovery call.  As a transformational healer, I help entrepreneurial empaths experience relief from overwhelm and exhaustion to flowing with their life's purpose. 

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