What if every space you entered felt safe?

Imagine walking into a dining room with the table set for one, two, three, or more.  It’s like an alter:  Plates, napkins and silverware are all coordinated, yet simple; your favorite flowers are at the center; and the candles on either end have been lit, creating a warm hue throughout the room.  Music plays in the background too, but it’s so soft you almost don’t notice.

How do you feel in this space?

Do you wonder what will happen in this room? Who will join in?

In this space, there’s a sense of anticipation.  It’s as if something important - no, something magical - is about to occur.  A miracle could even take place, because miracles do happen - you just need to be able to see and hear in a certain way.

When you take a seat, you notice that time slows down.  This is a place where you can let out a big sigh, or even a yawn to release the tension.  It’s as if you’ve finally arrived.

Arriving at this table - this space that’s been created for you - you can let go of all the "to dos," "shoulds" and "have tos."  You get to relax, and if you want, you can say a prayer, or raise a glass. 

In this space, acknowledge what has been lovingly presented and all that it took, and in giving thanks, your brain registers that it is safe. 

What’s possible from this place of safety?  What will you say, or do?  How can you create safe spaces, where you live and work, so you can experience more ease and connection? 

When it feels safe (according to your nervous system) to be in your body, you can digest what is happening, and savor the experience - which happens through all of your senses. 

When you’re fully embodied, you can see and hear - perhaps in a new way, gaining a new perspective. You can see what's possible.  You not only become more attuned to what’s happening around you, but also internally, and from this state of connection, you can tune into your inner wisdom to ask what you need and want to care for yourself.  And once you’ve asked for what you need and want, you can see the true list of choices available and make decisions that create the space needed to receive all that you're asking for. 

Creating spaces, like this, is not just for special occasions. 

When you create safe spaces where you live and work, you bring a sense of balance into the room where you (and/or others) can be yourself, free to create - to say, or do what comes to you. 

When you don't create these spaces, your focus (and others') can become too narrow. The nervous systems in the room could react in defense - and it's exhausting to be in a state of defense.

If creating safe spaces is so beneficial to your health and ability to create the change you want to see in the world, why go to (or live/work) places with fluorescent lighting, loud noises, or that lack beauty?

Perhaps it's just that you're used to it, or you see no other options (i.e. your employer/landlord chose the space and what's in it, it's the only store nearby, no funds for renovations...), or perhaps deep down, you know what happens when you're in spaces that help you to slow down and relax. The grounded energy that follows can stir up repressed emotions - and these physical sensations can feel too uncomfortable.  

And yet, feeling these emotions is what allows the energy to move and make room for more of your true self to come through. 

So how can you create a space that's safe enough to feel the sensations of your emotions and tune into your inner wisdom's guidance for how your true self can come through? 

There really is no “right” way to create a safe space, but you can refer to the metaphor of setting a dining table for inspiration, and consider the following: 

1.  It starts with intention.

When you set your intention for the experience (i.e. “I intend to create a space to enjoy a nourishing meal," or "I intend to tune into what I need and want to care for myself," or "I intend to connect with my loved one"), you start the process - from your internal sense of power -  of creating and holding spaces where magic and miracles can occur.

What happens when you bring your body (i.e. light a candle, pour some tea...) into the experience of setting an intention with your mind?  

2.  Next comes beauty and comfort.

Whether it’s a dining room table, or an office cubicle, create a space to acknowledge what's important to you, what you value and hold true. 

What if you thought of your space as an alter?  What objects could you bring to it?  What if you brought in a flower that reminds you of a special time?  Is there a song that soothes you?  What would make your seat more comfortable?

3.  Then comes gratitude.

It’s an honor to be at a table with so much abundance.  The food, the flowers, the candles - each one took time to prepare.  When you think about how many hands (including those from the invisible realms) were involved in bringing these objects together, you could say, "It's a miracle!" 

Giving thanks shifts the energy from lack, of fear, of undeserving, to feeling safe to receive.  How might you express your gratitude for the space in front of you?

4.  Then comes the connection.

Creating space is a simple act of kindness. When intention, beauty, and gratitude are involved, you’ve created the conditions that tell your nervous system that it's safe to connect. 

How does it feel to be in a state of connection?  Do you want others to join you?  What are you curious about saying/doing next? 

I invite you…

To sit down in a space that feels safe and consider the following:

  • What five spaces do you spend most of your time in? This can include rooms in your home, grocery stores, parks, as well as virtual spaces (zoom, websites, social media. 
  • How can you enhance your experience in these spaces?  How will your enhancements better serve your interactions with clients, family, or friends?  Beauty, gratitude and intention can go a long way, but there may be bigger changes needed including choosing new spaces. 
  • What five spaces do you WANT to spend most of your time in?  Which spaces feel safe and comfortable to relax, tune in, and follow your curiosity? What is it about them that you enjoy?

Answering these questions can help you to create safe spaces throughout your day - which then helps you to remain in a state of connection where you can listen to your body, emotions, and inner wisdom, and see the choices available to make empowered decisions that lead to creating the change want to see in the world.

Would you like some support to learn more about what your spaces reveal about you?  You're invited to schedule a free Freedom to Flow call.  As a transformational healer, I help empaths experience relief from overwhelm and exhaustion to flowing with their life's purpose. 

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